Well, the digital elves might be on zero hour contracts but they worked hard into the night and, if everything has gone to plan, you’ll have noticed that things look a little different around here. Yes, yes! Thank you but save the applause for the trial. Once ‘The Gadget Show’ comes after me, I’ll need you cheering in my corner.
Of course, if you’re reading this via an RSS feed, then you’re probably wondering what I’m talking about. Well, today I’m relaunching this blog as 'Samsung Beauty', the newest super-hip technology blog staffed by twenty somethings who look like Jesse Eisenberg but are usually called ‘Tom’. It also excites me to change my name, so please, from now on, I’d like to be known as ‘Burke Bevel’, IT journalist and freelance gadgeteer. I’ll be modelling myself largely on the great Jason Bradbury so my habitual scruffiness and intense introversion are things of the past. Burke Bevel is all about primal sexualised baldness, big glasses, and an even bigger personality made for popular television, or, failing that, Channel 5.
Hey guys! It’s me, your gadget guru, Burke Bevel here! And we’ve got an exciting show for you this week. I’ll be getting frisky with the 2014 edition of Samsung’s 10.1 inch Note, whilst Tom dresses like a pineapple in order to explain everything micro-USB. Plus we’ve got the usual tech news and competition in which you can win half a million quid’s worth of tech gear simply by leaving your name and address on our £10-a-second phone line and then we’ll be investigating the perils of £10-a-second phone lines and how scammers lure you in with the promise of ridiculous prizes.
See what I mean? I’m so happening and now that it’s frightening to think how fifteen minutes ago I was just fifteen minutes ago.
So, what can you expect this week on ‘Samsung Beauty’?
Well, there’ll be the usual mix of cartoons you won’t want to share on Twitter and essays you don’t read all the way to the end. However, everything will have increasingly irrational references to the Samsung Note 10.1 inch (2014 edition) tablet! It's a format I'm copying from popular technology websites such as ‘Gizmodo’, ‘Crave’, and ‘Trusted Reviews’ but with more emphasis on the nervous breakdown caused by a man’s unrequited love for unobtainable Samsung hardware.
By the end of the week, I’m hoping to have a hands-on review of the Note 10.1, depending on when they get the new model in stock at the local PC World and providing they don’t chase me off like they usually do once they realise I can’t afford to buy. I’m just hoping the short porcine manager with the attitude problem won't recognise me with my shaved head, big glasses and bright yellow dungarees…
Of course, there’ll also be the usual news, reviews, and tips about how to use a fantasy Samsung Note 10.1 inch (2014 edition) tablet and because it’s a fantasy tablet the tips will involve appearances from Rachel McAdams, Natalie Portman, and members of 1980s supergroup Bananarama.
What else can I say? If you’re interested in the Samsung Note 10.1 inch (2014 edition) tablet, then this is the place to be.