Thursday, 20 February 2014


Joleen found me via Facebook, though I don’t really use Facebook but she was excited nonetheless. She thought I was cute, though my picture doesn’t appear anywhere. But that was okay. She wanted to share some hot photos with me because I’m a ‘babe’. That was her word not mine but I do accept that I could be considered a ‘babe’ by some. Some like Joleen... You see, she’s just a free spirit with big boobs and an even bigger butt, apparently, though I’ve not seen them or her. She assures me that she knows how to use them but use them for what? I facetious want to ask but we’re not yet that close. She only emailed me this morning.

Now I don’t know what to do. The thought of a woman with big boobs and an even bigger butt is intriguing but I’m not sure I could overlook her bad spelling. When she told me to ‘click bellow’, I thought we were about to embark on a discussion about an angst ridden novelist. What if she’s also misspelled 'big boobs' and 'bigger butt'? She might actually have big books and lager gut. Do I really want to read Samuel Richardson’s Clarissa in the company of chubby women? I’ve had enough of that in my life.

I suppose I’ll find out soon. Joleen wants me to look at her private photos. She has (30) of them, though I don’t know the reason for the unnecessary (parenthesis). Perhaps it’s a sexual thing. She gave me an opportunity to click a link to a website called I admit I was intrigued so I clicked, expecting more girls like Joleen with big butts and even bigger boobs which they know how to use. I was taken to a company called, who are ‘a global provider of smart networking and communications solutions for machine-to-machine (M2M) applications.’ There they are again. The mysterious parentheses. It definitely has to be some strange twisted sex game. Grammatical gimpery, the sadomasochistic binding of letter upon letter. It makes no sense to me.

Nothing makes sense of me. I didn’t blog yesterday, which was the first day I hadn’t blogged in about two months. I didn’t expect to blog today. I thought I’d just walk away from the web which depresses me with all the Joleens who contact me when the people I hope to hear from just walk on by. Still no reply from the agent, the editors, or anybody… Perhaps the book is just a bad idea. I can’t draw for shit...

Yesterday I spent twelve hours reading books on Java programming. Late last night, I made my first Android app, which, unlike my experiments in programming, actually did something I’ve always wanted in an app. I loaded it again this morning and it made me smile. It’s a nice idea and I intend to learn more so I can make it better. I need to figure out how to create an SQL database under Android but it looks horribly difficult. I’ve not programmed seriously in such a long time. It’s hard to get back into the zone. I’ve never really liked Object Orientated programming with its broadcasters and listeners triggering events. I miss the days of straightforward loops, functions, and procedures. However, I’ll persevere. When I’m finished, I might feel like blogging again but I don’t know. I mean once you’ve met a woman like Joleen…. Assuming, of course, that Joleen is a woman.

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