Friday, 31 January 2014

The Month's End

Tattooed on the shin I use to kick-start my word-processor each morning is the motto ‘never look at your blog statistics’. Today I ignored the advice of my own shin and looked at my blog’s statistics. Though it's been a month of hard blogging, my fortunes haven't improved, though I did have a late surge yesterday thanks to visitors from Mumsnet. But does it get more humiliating than that? Mumsnet are taking over the country. They’re all over the TV, voicing their bland middle-of-the-road opinions from their highly staffed offices in the middle of Mumshire. Their own political party can’t be far away. I can’t fathom their power. Every newspaper seems to have a quote from a representative of Mumsnet. They’re like a slightly more scary version of Skynet. And now they're my primary source of traffic.

Out of desperation, I hit Google with my question: ‘How to improve blog traffic’. It led me to an American blog, run by a smiley Californian with his face in a round picture. He had good advice such as ‘writer killer content’ and ‘be funny’. I can do neither. It only leaves me the third bit of advice: ‘write less’. That is easily done.

I blogged every day in January. I can’t see myself blogging as much in February. I don't know... Tonight I feel miserably defeated. My article didn't even elicit a reply from the editors I’d emailed and if I was going to hear anything it would have been today. They didn’t even reject me with a polite ‘no’. Just silence. Horrible isolating silence. Yes I’m dejected and yes, yes, must carry on… But what’s the point when even my best work gets me nowhere?

God! This is the way the month ends, not with a bang but with an unfinished caricature of Michael Gove. Pitiful.




  1. i get about a 10 to 20 regular visitors every couple of days. i know most of them by name, from emails or comments. A few are totally anonymous. Of those i know by name, most are journalists or bloggers. At one point the Vanity Fair blog linked to me and i got 600 visitors in one day - i think all of them read for 10 seconds and then never came back. However, the size of one's audience can mean very little - think of the Velvet Underground or Jesus, both excellent role models for the aspiring blogger.

  2. Dark day hence my dark mood, plus I don't seem to have been warm until now.

    I don't know... I was just looking at Flipboard and it linked to "a hilarious article about pictures of cats I the same poses as male models". Puts it all in perspective for the aspiring writer. Or it does for me. I didn't find it hilarious at all just depressing but this is the world.

    I don't really know what to think. My readership is less than yours per day. Depressing in every way imaginable. Perhaps I have more via rss feeds but I'd just like to have something positive happen. Hell, id just like to get one bloody article or cartoon published somewhere and paid for it. I must be the world's most bloody lousy freelancer.

  3. If you want a lot of readers you need to write a specialist blog (how to or review) or become a minor sleb.
    Blogs like yours appeal to the cognoscenti of the form (that's me and 'im up top).
    And, yes I follow you on Feedly so sorry if I don't show up on your stats.

  4. Ah, Nathan. You have to forgive posts like this. I try to be honest in my blog and write every day, even if some days I am downhearted and I write this sort of thing. It's difficult not to, especially after a hard week as Tax week always is, when you're faced with your failures. I didn't mean half of what I wrote, or I meant it in a comically self-pitiful way that would only make me smile.

    If you're right and my blog only appeals to the cognoscenti of the form, then I'm damn delighted. Wish I could track RSS properly, though. It's an ugly business, posting something hard written and then see hits dribble in over a day. I don't want the earth but twenty true readers would make me feel so much better.

  5. Memo to self: Always click through to the Spine website; get the stats right.

    I don't promise the "always bit" when I'm working the late shift. The Samsung Galaxy 111s Mini is a little small for reading proper web pages.

    P.S note to Samsung: I'm only going to mention the negatives until you promise the Spine a free review copy of any further upgrades you put out.