Monday, 12 January 2015

I've Been Followed By @CChristGarcia!

I had a pretty bad day but this evening I thought there was glimmer of goodness. I had a new follower on Twitter. That might not seem like much but, like I said, it had been a bad day. Over the past week, satire has (naturally) seen a bit of a revival on the internet and I've had quite a few hits. However, now that the world returns to normal, the interest has dropped off and traffic is back to its usual sluggish low.

G2hjKTEdGetting a new follower therefore felt like a step in the right direction. And here is my new follower and I hope you agree that CChristGarcia looks like the kind of follower you want. She runs a pretty normal Twitter account, describing herself as an 'award-winning coffee guru. Organizer. Freelance pop culture ninja. Web fanatic. Future teen idol.' She also has seven times the number of followers that I have... In fact she looks so normal that nobody in their right mind would even question if Christina Garcia was real or not.

Except I wasn't in my right mind. The woman in the photo was obviously far too attractive to be following me so I did the thing I usually do before I follow somebody back. I took their most recent tweets and stuck them through Google. Needless to say, every single Tweet had been tweeted countless times before by bigger accounts. There's not an original tweet to be seen.

Step number two: if they're faking the tweets, I wondered if they'd faked the photo. Google images quickly  told me that the picture is, in fact, of Turkish fashion model, Gizem Guler who has her own twitter account with over 31 thousand followers, all hanging off her every announcement, the majority of which are a running itinerary of  the hotels she's just arrived at.

However, I digress... The point is: even though Christina Garcia does not exist and every tweet she posts has been plagiarised from elsewhere, she's a hell of a lot more popular than I am on Twitter. That begs the question: should I fake my account with a picture of a fashion model and just what the hell do I think I'm doing bothering with bloody Twitter?

Except I'm told I need to market myself. Spread my work and my word... Get in the loop.

Oh, bollocks to the loop. I'm going to bed. I hope the world's still here when I wake up. Or perhaps I don't. I'm not certain anything exists any more. I'm pretty sure the world ended months ago. Since then, it's been machine taking to machine.

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