Wednesday, 28 January 2015

I'm Pregnant

Surreal start to the day. One hell of a gale is blowing and in the space of the last hour we've had bright sunshine, rain, snow, hail, and then more sunshine. I also received five emails titled 'How to get pregnant just by reading this email'. I read all five emails. Nine months from now, I'll expect to hear the patter of five pairs of tiny feet.

Wow! A gust has just rattled the tiles on the roof! Nervous times. Not good for a man in my condition. I'm sure I just felt a contraction, though it could be yesterday's sprouts elbowing their way around a kink in my lower gut.

I've been reading about the new Ghostbusters film and I can't say that I'm excited, despite the presence of Kristen Wiig in the cast. I first saw her in Flight of the Conchords (my favourite comedy of the moment, one of my favourite comedies of all time) but then I began to notice her in various cameos such as in  Anchorman 2, where I thought she was the best thing in the film. She'll probably be great in Ghostbusters but I hate reboots. They rarely work and I really can't abide Melissa McCarthy. I hear people say she's funny but I just see a foul mouthed woman playing on her weight to portray the kind of snide and brutal women I try my best to avoid. Perhaps she just reminds me of women I've known and disliked. They're the kind you usually meet if you spend any time in further education. They take courses and discover feminism and then use what little they know to try to demean every man they meet.

I guess she's meant to replace the Bill Murray character. I can't see it working. Murray is wonderful when he's being misanthropic. He's no misogynist whereas I expect McCarthy to play it heavy on the man hate. Perhaps I'm wrong.

I tried to watch Larry Wilmore's show last night. He's Stephen Colbert's replacement. Not sure it's being broadcast in the UK but I found it online. I lasted five minutes. The studio have made much about Larry Wilmore being the first black late night TV host. I can't see what the big deal is but, then, I'm not American. The politics of race don't interest me in exactly the same way that I find feminism a cold largely unsatisfying meal. The arguments are already won and we should have moved on. However, we instead have reheated debates and ridiculous discussions about percentages. Colbert's show was wide ranging. Even the American politics I didn't understand were covered in such little depth that he always quickly moved on to something I could understand. From the start, Wilmore was taking about race and I sensed it was going to be the theme of the show. That's not to dismiss the concern but I can't help but feel that America won't be a truly enlightened nation until they stop making a big deal about casting the first female Ghostbuster or the first black late night talk show host.

Today: not sure what the hell to do. Feeling deflated and pretty lost. Four hits on the new website today. Four hits. Beginning to realise how foolish I was to ever think anything I ever do might find an audience.


  1. Never give up until Nature advises you it would be a good idea (by killing you)!

    Had a look at your site, and it looks fun. I suspect that it might take a while, but word-of-mouth is often the best way to gain business.

  2. By the way, Would Melissa McCarthy (whoever she be) be any good cast as your arch-enemy at the checkout in the soon-to-be written "Waywell: the True Story" film? (Could do with a snappier title, but creativity is not my strong point - but I now know just the site to go to!)

  3. Actually, from a physical point of view, that would be perfect casting, except MM has more about her than the girl at the checkout. I doubt if the girl at the checkout has the wits to be the aggressive feminist type. She is dull and slow moving. However, I think we can pencil in that bit of casting while I'll see if either Pitt or Depp is available for the main role.

  4. Oh, I'm just grumbling like I'm always grumbling. I have no people skills and feel deeply ashamed whenever I try to promote stuff because I know I'm just annoying people. So, I create things which I think are good and useful or fun and then just don't know what to do to make the public aware. I suppose I should go and wave a dead hedgehog behind the TV news reader standing outside Westminster or climb Big Ben dressed as the Pope. ;)