[Apologies for the following. Call it election fever. Call it spin sickness. Call it: I just needed to get this off my chest. I try so hard to be apolitical but sometimes things become too much.]
I'm so sick of Cameron. I'm really bloody sick of that smirking salivating charlatan. I'm sick of the way he keeps licking his lips like some gecko so greedy that he won't disgorge one worm before eating another. I'm sick of the way he talks about the NHS as though he really understands how pitiful the health service has become under his indifferent care. Does he really understand what it's like being in pain and living appointment to appointment when they're six months apart and often fruitless because the system has lost the previous lot of blood tests for the second time running?
The death of his son was tragic. I cannot begin to understand how painful it was. My heart goes out to both him and his wife because they are human beings and such tragedy deserves our compassion. But, unlike him, I could never use such a personal tragedy to close down debate when debate is essential. The fact he can do that reveals a malign side to his character. There really are worse things that weaponising the NHS. He'll do anything to win because he doesn't believe in anything other than winning.
Does he really believe that people should be severely punished when they don't turn up to a job interview? What happens when the person not attending the job interview is the Prime Minister, who refuses to debate properly with the other party leaders? Who takes his benefits away from him?
Does he really understand what a 'hardworking person' looks like? Most hard working people don't want to be reminded that they're hardworking because that's to remind them that the majority of their life will be spent in servitude to others who see them as minimum wage fodder. People do not live to be hard working. Only people who are rich enough to work for pleasure believe such lies. People work to survive and, beyond that hope, for pleasure and the occasional blue sky.
Does he really think that Eton, Oxford, a brief dalliance with 'the City', and then straight into Tory Party HQ gives him the right to talk about the our work ethic? It's almost as insulting as seeing George Osborne in hard hat and luminous jacket trying to look like he's actually dirtied his hands on something other than used hundred pound notes.
I'm so sick of the pretence and the media spin. I'm sick of the games they play with important things. I'm sick of them wanting we English to resent our families in Scotland and those in Scotland to resent the English. I'm sick of them wanting to divide all of us and make us look on every stranger as though they're somehow the enemy simply because they're poor or disabled or don't share our accent.
I'm sick of being ruled by people whose biographies are filled with holes and lies and not a hint of morality. I'm sick of the media spin, the dirty tricks, the orchestrated campaigns to misinform, mislead and disenchant a public who are politically naive.
I'm also sick of seeing holes in the roads and having holes in my boots because they've weakened the institutions of this country. They claim that they're the party for rich professionals but no party has ever done so much to destroy the professional classes. They want to deprofessionalise teaching, medicine, the law simply so they can hire cheaper workers. It's all about market forces whose basic drive is to kill or be killed.
I'm sick of them talking about austerity as though it's a real thing. There is no austerity. There is just the same old Tory ideological obsession with competition. And this is the key thing to remember. These aren't even Conservatives and I wish true Conservatives would realise that and vote them out. Old One Nation Tories should be ashamed to wear the party blue. They were people you could talk to. They had a rational distrust of ideology and a belief in helping the entire nation. They believed in something greater than these dead-eyed dolts still enchanted by the Thatcherite spell which clear-sighted people now realise was a curse put on all of us.
I'm sick of paying for everything that used to make life fun. Simple things like watching cricket in the afternoon without paying through the nose for a comprehensive sports service you neither want nor need.
I am sick of what this country has become: a nation of thick-necked heavily tattooed testosterone soaked Neanderthals who are the only ones who will succeed because Darwinian forces care nothing for compassion, kindness, politeness, or generosity.
Most of all, I'm sick of feeling ashamed to be British because to be British is to be either selfish, crass, and cruel, or it means to be trod down. I remember the days when it meant so much more than that.