Thursday, 6 June 2013

Michael Douglas and Sex Addiction: A Thought

Marina Hyde writes a funny little piece about Michael Douglas and sex addiction over at The Guardian, to which I wrote a quick reply that was hastily deleted by the moderators. I have no idea why or which of their community standards I broke but since it was a self-contained little bit of writing, I thought I might as well post it here. Of course, if anybody can spot my faux pas, I'd be grateful. Perhaps it was the bit about the 'sniff'. 

Whatever happened to the nice Michael Douglas from ‘The Streets of San Fransciso’? I can’t imagine Michael Douglas circa 1974 doing a stakeout to catch some guest star from ‘Happy Days’ whilst sitting in some old Chevvy discussing oral sex with Karl Marlden. Now there are words I never thought I’d ever type: ‘Oral sex with Karl Marlden’. Sounds like a self-help video complete with rubber toy the shape of the great man’s nose…

Sorry. I get a little excited just thinking about the commercial opportunities.

But my point is that whilst it’s all very good of Michael Douglas to warn us about the dangers of sex addiction and the rest, you’d think he could put all this expertise into some useful manual, perhaps printed on glossy paper with full colour photographs. Most celebrities only need to have a passing sniff of a subject before they have a book out and it sounds to me that Michael Douglas had more than a passing sniff of an interest in sex (pardon the image).

I speak only from an academic interest, of course, having studied ‘Basic Instinct’ on VHS for much of the 1990s. Why, I feel like I know Michael’s buttocks almost as well as I know my own, perhaps even more than I know my own since I rarely get to look at them.

Anyway, that’s my idea. Thought I’d share.