Friday, 20 February 2015

Listening to other people's conversations

Thanks to a signal failure outside Manchester Victoria, it took two hours to get home after an already tiring day. My ankles are killing me. I'm too exhausted to write anything long except to relate the highlight of the trip: sitting on the station around 11am this morning after doing a hike to the hospital and back. I was there fifteen minutes early so I sat in the shelter with my Samsung Note and continued to draw an increasingly pornographic caricature of J.C. Mogg. A man and a woman were also in the shelter and provided ample entertainment. I swear that the following is an accurate transcription of part of their conversation because I stopped drawing to take notes as the discussion developed. As you read this, imagine me sitting to one side and wanting to shout 'Stop! Everything you're saying is wrong!' However, I didn't. I just took notes.


Man: See that Joanna Lumley on telly last night? She seems to have aged suddenly...

Woman: Oh, didn't she sing that James Bond song? You know the one from the 1970s?

Man: Oh aye. Man With the Golden Gun. Rodger Moore wasn't it?

Woman: Yes.

Man: Not the best James Bond.

Woman: No, that was Pierce Brosnan.

Man: They say Daniel Craig is the new Sean Connery but I think Sean Connery was the best Bond along with that Australian. George Lazenby.

Woman: Oh wasn't he in that spoof James Bond film? I didn't like that one.

Man: Did you know that was the longest James Bond film they've made so far?

Woman: When's the new film out?

Man: Next month.

Woman: Next month? That soon?

Man: Oh aye. They finished filming it a while back. Of course, we've got to wait until next year to see the new Dad's Army film.

Woman: Oh I saw they were making that.

Man: Doing a good job too. They've got everything right. They've got the costumes right.

Woman: Really?

Man: And you know what they've also got right?

Woman: What?

Man: Walker's moustache.


I think that's worthy of a caption on the posters when the new Dad's Army film is released. 'Now with authentic Walker's moustache'. Personally speaking, I wasn't intending to see the new Dad's Army film until I'd had it confirmed about the state of Walker's moustache. Now I know Walker's moustache is in the film and looks just like Walker's moustache, I'm marking it down in my 2016 diary. 'Must see the new Dad's Army film. Must also pay extra special attention to Walker's moustache'.

Yes. I'm tired.

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